She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
