idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
