My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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