I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
