my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
