She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
