Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
