I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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