what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
the liver wants what the liver wants
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize