i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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