make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
