THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize