Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
