i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
