Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
