found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
