Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
