you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
