we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize