Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
