Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
