I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize