she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
