Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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