I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
