He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
