You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize