If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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