Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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