I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
