just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
should my penis look like a turkey
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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