so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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