My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
