Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
As shirtless as possible
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
