I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
