this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
