Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
That reminds me...we need to get swords
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
