Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
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