yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
COCAINE IS GR8
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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