Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
