Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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