did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
