I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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