my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
