went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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