Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize