holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
my nose is crying tears of wow.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
