Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
