The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
