this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
