I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
