My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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