Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
