I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We named our party play list daddy issues
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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