At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
