Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
