Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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