i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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