in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
