Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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