Betty ford says i'm here all night
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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